Justin Foeppel

As I was reading Stop Stealing Dreams by Seth Godin, I realized I am that student that adapted to an industrialized school system. I received good grades because I was more afraid of rebelling against a system I though was arbitrary and disconnected from true learning than I was of the damage that conforming to that system would cause. In fact, I wasn’t even aware there was damage. I just wanted approval and to fit in. This leaves questions: If I want to be the sort of person Godin is arguing we want to foster in our school system, the kind of person that does well in a “race to the top” for the most creative economy that solves novel problems, as opposed to a “race to the bottom” of an economy that mass produces the most workers for the most rote jobs of mass production, am I shit out of luck at this point? It could seem so since I’m 28 and a poster child for the kind of person our industrialized school system was designed to churn out: An obedient and compliant worker who does what he’s told and is satisfied when he receives a gold star for moving widget A from point X to point Z. What do I do since I am just realizing I’m not the sort of person who is equipped to be the most successful in the economy of the future where the best jobs are for people with curiosity, creativity, problem solving, and a buck-the-system mentality? 

There is good news: My approval seeking nature got me somewhere. It got me to college. College got me to a steady office job that earns me enough money for a comfortable living, a living where I don’t have to worry about food, shelter, etc. In college, I also learned to love to read. Not because of what I did in college, but because of the free time I enjoyed during some semesters where I was lucky enough to choose to read some books that lit a proverbial fire under my knowledge/wisdom-loving ass. Since then, I’ve been on a journey that led me to Seth’s and many others’ thought provoking books. 

But, the bad news…the bad news is sort of overwhelming: 28 years of thinking I’ve done well and prepared myself for a successful life in this Great Experiment we call America (thanks Jim Mattis for sharing this colloquialism in your interview with Peter Robinson on Uncommon Knowledge). I know it’s hard to unlearn old habits. I know it’s harder the older a person gets. I’ve been successful in sustaining one habit change of note in my adult life: I no longer drink alcohol. Beyond that, I’ve tried and continue failing at changing many others. (Maybe it looks like I’m failing, but the habits are so slowly changing that the change is imperceptible?) 

One thing I know for certain: Being overwhelmed and giving up on improvement because it’s too hard is a kind of hell. And it’s a kind of hell I don’t want to visit again. In the following, I will outline a few lessons I’ve learned that I need to hear to face this challenge. Maybe you need to hear it too. 

1. Aiming higher than I believe I can expect to achieve is helpful. I get farther by attempting something I think is impossible than by limiting by dreams to the attainable. The attainable is boring and a foregone conclusion. When I try and fail at the impossible, though I’ve fallen short, I’ve fallen a lot farther than the boring attainable. 
2. Starting with the small and doable today gets the momentum going. Aim at the impossible and do the imminently doable today. 
3. Learning new habits that replace old habits is easier than stopping old habits without replacing them. 
4. Experiential learning is learning that cements knowledge. Abstract learning is a nice first introduction. Experience makes the abstract real. 
5. Since I am trained for seeking approval, mentorship that asks me to complete specific tasks is perpetuating a weakness: Doing out of concern for approval. I have two mentors and am deftly afraid they will stop helping me when I continue to not follow through with their “assignments.” That’s why I’m writing this today instead of working on what they’ve suggested I do. The mentorship I need is supportive, understanding, and mind expanding, but non-prescriptive. I need wiser people to make suggestions to get unstuck, but once I’m unstuck, I need to utilize my creative capacities to author my own life – they’ve been weakened after a lifetime of approval seeking assignment completion. 
6. Passing along my own knowledge and trying to teach is a way to cement what I’ve already learned, but easily forget. 

There is another manifesto I recently read. It is Do the Work by Steven Pressfield. It’s coincidental I chose to read these at the same time. Maybe it’s the frame of mind I’m currently in, but as I was reading both Do the Work and Stop Stealing Dreams I was thinking of these men’s ideas in the context of my life. With Pressfield, I’m thinking of my life as the creative output and myself as the creator. With Godin, I’m lamenting that the sort of schooling Godin envisions didn’t exist for me, but I’m also thinking of life as my school. There’s a sort of virtuous circle possible: Create my life as a creative endeavor, receive feedback from life as its student, incorporate the learning into my next creative tweak. This can become a positive feedback if I Do the Work and Stop Stealing (My Own) Dreams. 

Justin Foeppel

 P.S. Writing time was 50 minutes. I should have edited this, but I’ve often written and never published because I didn’t return to finish the editing. In an effort to put more value out into the world, I’m publishing this unedited. Thanks to both of the authors featured here (Pressfield and Godin) for the encouragement to “ship.” 

P.P.S. Comments are appreciated. Please take the time to comment via social media or on my website: foeppel.com.